I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
worst night to have a conscience
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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