It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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