She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
