watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
