are you still at the devil's house?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
