shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize