found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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