one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
