was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
if only i could text you this smell
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize