Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
