I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
