hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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