Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
