We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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