i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
