Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
