u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
