nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Randomize
