I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
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