no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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