There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
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