Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
