I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
