You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize