Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Alive.
So much puke
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I just want to make out with him forever
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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