My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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