im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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