the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
