Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
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