i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
We were destined to go to rehab together
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
