im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
