Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
