I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize