when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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