The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
When are your genitals available?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
