I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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