Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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