Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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