Just cropdusted the office
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Terrible idea I love it
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
