fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Green mimosas i think yes
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
