After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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