It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
