he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
