Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
