Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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