Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
