i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
