Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
