dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
