I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize