He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I can text with my tongue
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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