Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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