the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
