just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
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