Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
