I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
These tits shall not be calmed
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
