I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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