you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
