I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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