I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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