fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
